Day 18, a.m.

It’s morning now. Well, nearly afternoon. I am not sure what time I went to bed last night. I know I was planning on taking a nap but when I realized it was 10pm when I finished last night’s post and closed down my computer I figured a nap would have to become sleep.

There are two things bothering me right now. First, it seems that I lost some time last night that I cannot account for. I started posting last night around 6pm. I was thinking I should hear from my boyfriend in a few hours. In what felt like an hour’s time, I received a call saying he was done with his father’s birthday dinner. I didn’t understand at first because I thought it was only 7pm and dinner was just starting. I looked at the clock and realized it was much later. 9:30 actually.

Now, I know that it didn’t take me 3 hours to post last night’s blog. Where did that time go? I can’t remember doing anything then other than posting. I am guessing that I stared off for a while and didn’t know it. I have no idea. I just know that there are about 2 hours of time that need accounting for.

The other thing bothering me right now is that I am shaking. My hands are trembling in an embarrassing way. I am part enthralled by it and part afraid of it. I find myself looking at my hands shake and then quickly putting them down so as not to see them. It is not abnormal for me to shake, but this shaking is on a level all of its own.

I am typing on a laptop and using the mousepad is nearly impossible. It took me FOREVER to get the mouse where I needed it to go in order to open up Internet Explorer. I am shaking too much to control where my fingers are trying to tell the cursor to go. Is this because I need coffee or because I haven’t taken the Zyban?

I am going to take a shower, get some coffee and see how the rest of the day goes.